Richard Seymour does the world a favor, punches Ben Roethlisberger in the throat.
I would like to take this time to thank Richard Seymour for punching Ben Roethlisberger in the throat during the Steelers 35-3 victory over the Raiders this weekend. I truly believe the world would be a better place if this happened more often. Unfortunately, due to the unfair nature of the NFL, he will be unjustly fined for his heroic actions.
Ben Roethlisberger, of course, is widely regarded as one of the biggest douchebags in the history of the world. That's why I've established the Fund to Ensure Somebody Throat Punches Roethlisberger Every Week.
The goal of the FESTPREW is simple. With the NFL handing out fines like hippies handing out bumper stickers at Phish concerts, Seymour is almost assuredly going to receive a fine. This financial punishment serves as motivation for players to restrain themselves when they get the urge to punch Roethlisberger in the throat, which by my estimate is approximately every 5-10 minutes.
The FESTPREW will strive to pay the fines of any players who take time out of their day to give back to society by physically assaulting Ben Roethlisberger. No longer will players be punished for doing the right thing by going along with their natural instinct to deck the Steelers QB.
We won't be happy by just compensating players for fines. We want to be able to reward players for their actions. With enough support, eventually the FESTPREW will not only be able to pay the fines of players, but there will be enough money to offer a reward to anyone who goes out of their way to harm Roethlisberger. With your support, we will someday live in a world where players will be rightfully rewarded for their efforts to put Roethlisberger in his place.
Thank you, and good night.
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4 comments:
Rapistberger should be punched in the throat everday just as a reminder of what a douchebag he is.
This article is a complete joke. Good job of promoting violence in the NFL you moron. It disgusts me that you have a journalist job. I mean it's obvious that nobody ever listens to what you have to say, but is it necessary that you have to resort to writing crap like this? Very unprofessional of you.
@Dirt: I feel the same way. Someone should be hired to punch Roethlisberger in the face everyday. Roethlisberger got off good, kept his starting job and everything.... Santonio Holmes got traded... im just sayin...
This coming from a RAVENS FAN...
Fools advocate violence on anyone. It is proof that they have no respect for others and none for themselves when they make a total display of ignorance and don't care who sees it.
This post is an insult to anyone who truly loves the sport for what it is and doesn't allow their personal prejudices to run away with their childish and unchecked behavior. I am ashamed that human beings can be so vindictive over such a relatively unimportant issue in the grand scheme of life.
I am amazed that this type of content can even be allowed on BTSC!
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